Why Do I Still Think About My Ex When I Have Someone New?

Possibly years have passed since the breakup. Maybe you’re in a new relationship now. Additionally, your new relationship can be flawless in every way.

However, there are times when you still find yourself reflecting on your ex. You start to reflect on the wonderful times you two shared. You start remembering how you felt when you were with your ex. You start remembering the times you teased each other, made faces at each other, cracked inside jokes, kissed one another goodnight, or perhaps even remembered how you made love to each other.

Here are some explanations for why you could still be thinking about your ex and what you can do about it.

Something reminded you of your past relationship.

As We mentioned earlier, the most common reason you still think about your ex is that a current emotion or sensation makes you think of an analogous emotion or feeling you shared with your ex. A study found that when we feel the same emotions, we are more likely to remember both good and bad memories.

Therefore, there is a good potential that your new relationship may make you think of your ex if you are experiencing the same feelings as previously in it (whether they are favorable or negative). The incident from your prior relationship that caused the same emotion or feelings can come to mind. And that idea can trigger a series of ideas about your ex and your previous relationship.

Your ex had a strong impact on you.

Sometimes you miss someone only because they gave you a lot of advice or significantly influenced your life. You might have learned much from your ex about relationships, life, and even your profession.

If your ex significantly impacted your life, it’s normal to periodically miss them or think about them when you find yourself applying the skills they taught you.

You miss your ex and want them back in your life.

Even if it has been a while or you are in a new relationship, there are times when you may still miss your ex. Perhaps you believe that you and your ex had a special connection, making it exceedingly challenging to recreate it with someone else. Perhaps you believe that the split was a mistake and that you should try to reconcile with your ex.

What To Do If You’re In A Relationship & Still Thinking About Your Ex

The answer to the question “Why do I still think about my ex?” will help you move on if you find yourself asking it repeatedly.

Figure Out What Your Feelings Are

Having stated that, it’s important to understand your feelings toward your ex. That isn’t to mean that you genuinely wish to patch things up; there could be several other reasons why they are still in your thoughts. Do you still wish you were still together because they are on your mind? Did you spend so much time together that thinking about them became habitual? Or are you still upset with the way the romance ended? Take some time to identify the source of those ideas so you can address them and move on, advises House, as there are countless possibilities as to why they might be rattling around above.

Decide If You’re Ready To Be In A Relationship

It’s important to think about whether you’re genuinely prepared to be in a relationship before starting a new relationship if you’re dating someone. That will depend on how you still feel about your ex and your previous relationship and how your present partner feels. While you may feel prepared to move on, it takes two to tango, and your partner might not feel the same way. Additionally, being over someone and being prepared to be with someone else are two different things.

Talk To Your Partner. Once You’ve Figured Out Your Feelings

You should speak with your partner once you’ve decided how you feel about your ex. If you’re unsure of your position, you shouldn’t start a serious conversation, but as soon as you do, it’s only fair to bring it up and discuss it with them.

Having fond memories does not mean that you want to reunite.

The first thing you need to keep in mind? Going back in time doesn’t always imply that you’re missing your ex. It could make you feel more at ease to revisit those recollections if you remind yourself that it’s normal to reflect on your history.

Avoid Comparing

According to an expert, it’s natural that you’ll compare your current relationship to previous ones. After all, your former partners serve as your standard for past romantic encounters. It’s like contrasting apples with oranges, though.

Keep an eye out for when comparisons between your present partner and your ex go from passive to active (where you’re actively attempting to figure out how the relationships compare to one another). When you become aware that you have strayed into that active process, divert your focus by engaging your senses, moving your body, or doing something else.

Focus On Your New Relationship

When you can live in the present, why dwell on the past? The proverb is accurate when referring to relationships.

But it’s sometimes simpler to say than to accomplish. Expert advises carefully considering what you like about your current partnership for assistance. You might be more present in your current relationship without continuously thinking about your ex if you understand exactly why your current partner makes you happy.

FAQs

Why do I think about my former partner so much while I’m with someone else?

Especially while it’s normal to reflect on the past, a relationship consultant and author in New York believes that thinking about your ex all the time, even if you despise them, can be an indication that you haven’t moved on from the relationship.

Why does seeing your ex with another person hurt?

You undoubtedly thought of them as your life’s love or, at the absolute least, your life partner throughout the time you were together. Bitterness may arise if you see them with someone else, but that’s normal. It does indicate that you still care, even if you are not still in love.