Standing Up To A Borderline Explained | How Exhausting Is A Friend With BPD?

A borderline personality disorder is a personality disorder in which the patient struggles to regulate their emotions. Due to a lack of control of emotions, people with BPD suffer from outbursts, anxiety, stress, and fear of abandonment and may also hold a negative perspective of the world.

It is essential to know that your loved one diagnosed with BPD is suffering and has difficulty establishing their relationship, especially with people closest to them. Friends and family members of BPD patients find it challenging to keep up with the patient’s extreme mood swings, angry outbursts, and impulsive behavior. But we should remember that any hurtful thing the patient does is not towards us; they do it in a desire to ease the pain and suffering they are experiencing.

By controlling your responses, setting clear boundaries, and enhancing communication with your loved one, you can make it easy for the BPD patient to be with and to last a relationship with you.

Standing up to  Borderline Personality Disorder

It can cause great difficulty in understanding the behavior and feelings of a person with BPD or what triggers their BPD episodes. However, with the correct knowledge on how to support them, you can manage and change your relationship’s dynamic. here are some which you can take to stand up for a person with borderline personality disorder:

• Be patient 

Avoid engaging in a heated argument if your loved one has trouble managing their emotions. Discussing things over when you both have calmed down might be preferable.

• Do not judge them.

Try to listen to them without criticizing or suggesting they misbehave. It’s crucial to acknowledge how they are feeling, whether you agree with them or not, and if you think their feelings are rational.

• Show them your love

People with BPD may go over and above to please and make you happy because they crave the same affection and acceptance. When a person with BPD feels unappreciated, relationships can become tense. You can combat this by letting your loved one know how much you value all they do to make you happy. People with BPD frequently seek genuine affirmation and love, so if you experience this, be honest about it.

• Set clear boundaries

It can be helpful to make sure you both understand what to expect from each other if your loved one seems anxious about being left alone or feels uncomfortable about being rejected or abandoned.

You’ll be able to develop a sense of trust and respect between you when both parties respect the boundaries, which are essential components of any lasting relationship.

• Be responsive

When you are contacted or reached by a person with BPD, it is best to be responsive to them. People with BPD regard themselves as unworthy of love and affection and have a chronic fear of abandonment and rejection, thinking that something is wrong with them. This can lead to self-destructive behavior, resulting in chaos and self-harm. To avoid this, you should be responsive toward people with BPD.

• Gain knowledge about BPD to help fight stigma.

BPD is a difficult diagnosis, and in addition to attempting to manage their mental health issue, your loved one may occasionally have to cope with other people’s misunderstandings.

Although learning about BPD won’t immediately fix your relationship problems with the patient, it will help you acknowledge what the person with BPD is going through and cope with challenges more positively.

• Ensure your well-being.

Taking care of someone else can occasionally be challenging and frustrating. It’s crucial to remember that your mental health matters too. When you’re exhausted and stressed, it’s impossible to help someone else or have long-lasting, fulfilling connections. Permit yourself to live a life apart from the BPD person with whom you are in a relationship.

Having a friend with Borderline Personality Disorder

Having a friend with borderline personality disorder can be frustrating and sometimes lonely. You may feel exhausted and as if you are walking over eggshells with no hope. It is standard for people to experience this with their loved one having BPD. Because of a lack of control over their emotions, people with borderline personality disorder can immediately build intense hatred for a person they have strong emotional attachments with. If they felt neglected and abandoned by you over small things, this could cause an extreme reaction and aggressive behavior.

When a person with borderline personality disorder experiences loneliness and a lack of social support, their symptoms are at their worst. As a result, they can make desperate attempts to avoid being alone, such as by attempting suicide or engaging in reckless behavior. All of this can be very challenging and exhausting for people around them.

Lasting your friendship with a person with BPD

It can be difficult and emotionally challenging to be friends with someone who has a borderline personality disorder. However, recognizing the illness and establishing boundaries can help establish a healthy, long-lasting friendship. Following are some tips and advice that will help you maintain your friendship:

• Set boundaries upfront and stick to them. Make a balance between your needs and those of your friends so that you may look after yourself.
• Discuss how you two may complement one another’s strengths as your connection develops to keep it going. 
• Be available to listen and express sympathy for your friend. Even if you disagree, you can still express your understanding of their situation. It might be powerful to show your friend that you care about their feelings without judging them because they may be used to hearing that they are overreacting.

Conclusion 

A borderline personality disorder is a mood or personality disorder that results in irregular emotions, mood swings, complications with behavior, and holding a negative self-image. Reacting in a hurtful way towards a person with BPD will only worsen their symptoms.

Being friends with someone with BPD can be challenging and complex. You will face obstacles and challenges you may not experience in a normal relationship. However, there are some valuable tips and ways to follow to maintain and develop a robust and healthy relationship with a person with BPD.