Do Affairs That Last More Than a Year End, In a Marriage?

While it’s not fair to make any generalizations about affairs, the consensus among experts seems to be that relationships built on an affair don’t tend to last more than a year or two. However, there are exceptions to every rule. We wanted to share them with you, hoping that they’ll give you some comfort if your marriage has crossed into that long-term affair stage and maybe even help you avoid it altogether. 

Overview of Infidelity

An affair can be described as sexual or emotional involvement with someone other than your spouse. The discovery of an affair is one of life’s most painful experiences; it often leads to divorce. It has also been linked to depression, substance abuse, and even suicide.

To make matters worse, researchers have recently shown just how common infidelity is: In one recent survey, nearly 20 percent of respondents said they had either had sex with a person outside their relationship or flirted heavily with someone else within the previous 12 months.

Although any extramarital sexual contact constitutes cheating — including kissing — psychological infidelity (often defined as feelings for another person without sexual intercourse) seems to rise.

Understanding Infidelity

According to Dr. Abraham Morgenstern, an expert on infidelity and author of What Do Women Want? About 80 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair during their marriages. Cheating is costly to both your partner and yourself. Not only does it erode trust, but it also signals incompatibility issues. Experiences can be emotionally messy and financially draining.

The best advice for anyone who suspects their partner is cheating on them is to consider ending your relationship before it begins. This way, you can avoid any future pain from being unfaithful to your partner and give yourself time to find someone better suited for you who won’t cheat on you or leave you in the first place!

Statistics on Infidelity

More than 50% of all married individuals will engage in at least one extramarital affair. In addition to those relationships lasting less than a year, almost 40% of extramarital relationships continue for more extended periods. While some continue and lead to permanent divorces or breakups, others don’t – and can even grow into long-term marriages.

Because of its ability to provide deep emotional connections that are hard to form otherwise, infidelity is often (though not always) seen as something positive by those involved—statistically speaking. However, most individuals who participate in extramarital relationships don’t go on to marry their partner or begin an exclusive relationship outside of their existing marriage.

Causes of Infidelity

Suppose you’re part of an open or polyamorous relationship. In that case, it’s essential to ensure your agreements about cheating are clear and that everyone is on board with how much (or little) infidelity is acceptable.

For monogamous relationships, consider asking each other why you think cheating happens – what pressures and fears do you think have driven your partner to seek outside attention? Suppose your partner wants to cheat again (and again). In that case, it may be helpful to explore their childhood and look for commonalities between their experiences and how they feel now.

There is a way you can make them feel safer from emotional pain and physical harm within your relationship. Do you both want to work towards something more substantial, or do you think cheating is an easy escape for one of you?

Consequences of Infidelity

Many people can attest to how difficult it is to rebuild trust after an affair. Unfortunately, many spouses remain in relationships where they have been physically or emotionally cheated on, and many believe they must do everything possible to try and save their marriages.

The main reason for staying is because many people feel like since their spouse hasn’t left, it must mean that there is still love between them or at least some hope of making things work.

They may not be ready to admit that perhaps their partner has irreconcilable differences with them that cannot be resolved despite all of their efforts. They are afraid of being alone again and may decide to stay only out of fear.

Long-term Affairs

It’s hard to say. In some cases, an affair can increase tensions and make divorce more likely; however, other studies have shown that having an experience can make your relationship stronger. The study (conducted by relationship expert Ruth Houston and her colleagues ) found people who had an affair were less likely to experience problems like communication or sexual difficulties with their spouse, meaning there was less conflict overall.

Another finding revealed that straying couples were significantly happier with their sex lives than married people who didn’t cheat. Essentially: An affair might improve a marriage! Does it mean you’ll stay together forever? Probably not.

The solution to an Affair

Once you’ve been unfaithful to your partner, it’s tough to keep yourself from doing it again. The solution is quite simple: Don’t go out of your way to cheat again!

This might seem obvious—after all, why would anyone who cheated once ever want to do it again?—but it’s worth repeating because one of the big mistakes people make is spending too much time figuring out what went wrong instead of focusing on how not to repeat their mistakes. Suppose you’re someone who has had an affair and doesn’t want another one. In that case, you need to focus on avoiding any situation where an experience would be likely or possible.

Conclusion

There are many types of affairs, but they all have one thing in common; they represent a breach of trust. Experiences can be emotionally devastating and lead to divorce. According to recent research by Dr. Terri Orbuch, if an affair lasts more than a year, it is not likely to turn into a divorce because most people are willing to forgive those who cheat on them. However, suppose an affair lasts less than six months. In that case, it’s much less likely ever to become permanent, and an actual divorce or separation will occur due to how quickly things deteriorate when these relationships dissolve.