5 Reasons Why Couples go to Therapy
Couples therapy is the process of improving romantic relationships. Preferably as a team, but often conducted to just one half of the relationship, couples therapy uses a variety of psychotherapy techniques to help work through personal issues, breakdowns in communication, and the restoration of trust.
Traditionally, this has been a trip down to the local therapist’s office; awkward for some. Today, there are many online providers that can provide the service over video call. In just a matter of years since the pandemic, remote telehealth has skyrocketed.
How much does it cost?
The cost of couples therapy depends on a few things. In California, for example, sessions run from $150 to $250, though $100 per hour may be possible. However, among the couple therapy sites, $45 to $150 per week tends to be where most prices lay.
Some online therapy sites charge per session, and the exact amount you pay will depend on the quality of service, whether there are promotional deals, insurance, among other factors.
Is it covered by insurance?
Insurance coverage will depend on the provider and the policy. Generally, therapy is covered when it’s deemed medically necessary, so couples therapy isn’t covered in many plans. But, it could be covered by an Employee Assistance Programme, or if it’s a hybrid form of counseling that derives from mental health issues. For example, if you need help with both addiction issues and its impact on a relationship. Even then, only some online providers accept insurance (i.e. Amwell, Talkspace).
Does couples therapy work?
Therapy isn’t an exact science – you cannot repeat the same process and get identical results between patients. But, therapy has long proven to improve well-being, and couples therapy is no different.
Not only do studies show that couples therapy improves many relationships, but that video “actually enhances the therapeutic alliance” regarding teletherapy.
It’s not perfect, and a therapist cannot solve core problems – they only give you the tools to try and solve them. So, managing expectations is important, as not everybody will see positive results. But, statistically, there are many studies that show “individuals who took part in
premarital counseling indicated greater marital satisfaction than those who did not take
part in premarital counseling”.
How to get a good therapist near you
The best way to find a good therapist is to simply read reviews and testimonials. Local practitioners are riskier in this regard because there are usually fewer local reviews. Compare this to the global marketplace of telehealth, and reviews flood in from around the world.
There are many sites that offer couples therapy online, so choosing one is a matter of reviews, budget, promotional deals, services offered, and customer service. When it comes to local therapists, it’s common to feel like you’re “stuck” with one that you do not connect with – but don’t be afraid to drive to the next office in town and try a variety of therapists.
5 reasons why couples go to therapy
The question of why use therapy can be answered by going through the top 5 common reasons why couples seek it out. Often, couples think their relationship doesn’t need counseling, but in actual fact has some challenges that need attention.
Communication issues
The number one reason why couples go to therapy – an issue that is often a precursor to most other issues – is with issues in communication. Fighting and shouting matches are often a symptom of communication problems, but so is the opposite, such as sweeping issues under the rug.
Whether it’s bottling things up or relentlessly arguing, this is often the cause of other issues such as infidelity and a fading romantic connection.
It’s normal to not agree on everything, and that is precisely why most of us could do with some help in expressing our disagreements. If we accept that we will always have disagreements, we can equip ourselves with the tools to empathize with the other person’s point of view. A couples therapist will directly advise on ways to improve this communication so things do not escalate each time.
Trauma
The trauma of a miscarriage, going bankrupt, or a car accident can seriously affect a relationship. Trauma can manifest itself in creative and terrorizing ways; sometimes it brings people together, but it can often do the opposite. Nihilism, depression, angry outbursts, and an emotional guard can all be symptoms of trauma that negatively affect relationships.
Using a variety of techniques, a licensed therapist can help us heal. Whether it’s coming to terms with what has happened, teaching coping mechanisms, or simply bringing two people together through a shared experience.
Addiction
Addiction can be debilitating for an individual, but its impact can be equally as damaging to a relationship. Living with someone who abuses substances, is addicted to pornography, or cannot stop gambling, are all issues that affect the partner too. It robs couples of their money, health, and time together.
It’s often difficult for the person in question to admit they have a problem, so this is the first step. Seeing as addiction is behavioral, through CBT and other methods it’s possible to overcome bad habits. And, couples therapy can also equip the partner with tools to help the addicted person in question.
Broken trust
A lack of trust can happen for a variety of reasons. It may be from being hurt in previous relationships that have led to a pessimistic view on romance, or perhaps infidelity in the current relationship.
Infidelity affects 1 in 2.7 couples, yet around two-thirds remain together after it happens. Given that most people who engage in infidelity do not necessarily want to end their relationship, there’s commonly a strengthening in the relationship after it’s happened.
A couples therapist certainly helps in a couple’s fight for relationship survival. It’s a tool that has proven to reduce the likelihood of divorce. It will help get to the source of why the broken trust happened in the first place. And, from there, aid in building healthy habits and reforming a stronger bond as a result.
Drifting apart and a fading spark
Sometimes people grow apart and that’s okay. But, often it’s behavioral issues that make you feel like you’re drifting apart, but the person you fell in love with is still that same person today. Many people wonder if they will ever return to how it used to be.
But, regaining a spark is often achievable. Date nights away from the kids, spontaneity, and improving communication can all be ways to get back on track. This is the bread and butter of couples therapy, where couples will learn to communicate more effectively about their expectations, and love, of each other, and build healthier habits to bring back that spark.
Summary
Whether it’s worth fighting for a relationship is a tricky topic, and not one a therapist can answer for you; they can only provide the tools for your fight. In some instances, particularly abuse, it will be better to walk away.
For couples that want to steer their relationship back on track, it’s unequivocal the help that a therapist can provide. The method of the therapy, be it traditional or remote, are equally effective and therefore a matter of personal preference. If it pertains to mental health, it may be possible for insurance to foot some of the bill, but it will depend on both the provider and insurer.
